We live in a world that pushes us into division. The word “hate” is prevalent in our culture, and it has become an acceptable way to look at others. In our flesh, this is a normal and natural response, but that is not how we, as followers of Jesus, have been called to live. With the power of the Holy Spirit, we can live peacefully with those we have conflict with. Paul is writing to the church in Rome that is experiencing some of the same love/hate culture, but the intensity is much greater because their lives were at stake. Beginning in verse 14, Paul calls us to bless (speak well of) those who persecute you; bless and do not curse (wish ill will) them. The exhortation is to bless our persecutors constantly. (Luke 23:34; Acts 7:60) In other words, we shouldn’t let someone else’s behavior determine our behavior. Practically speaking, outside of the spiritual destruction this causes, a lifestyle of persistent resentment and hostility towards others leads to severe health problems and anxiety-related disease. Paul goes on to say, “rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.” He is still talking about those who persecute you or those you don’t get along with. Again, this can only be done through the power of the Holy Spirit. Verses 16-18 focus on our mind. We must remember that retaliation escalates, but grace diffuses. We must be careful in “winning the argument” that we “lose the person”. It is not worth it. We also do not need to avenge ourselves (v19). God sees. God knows. God will handle it better than we will. We don’t forgive others because we don’t think they deserve it. We forgive because we trust God with justice. “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” (v20). Why should we love, forgive, feed, clothe, and bless like that? - Jesus commanded it (Matthew 5:33-34)
- Jesus practiced it (Luke 23:34)
- People will notice – that is living the gospel
Paul wraps up this section by summarizing it all: “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” The word “overcome” is a military word that means to “overpower”. It is an extremely penetrating and radical insight. Paul says that to repay evil with evil is immediately to lose the battle to evil! The only way to defeat evil is by doing good to the one who has done harm. If you hate a person who has wronged you,that person has won! The only way to defeat the evil is to forgive and love the person. We must forgive as we have been forgiven (Eph 4:32) God loved us when we were enemies (Rom 5:10; Col 1:21) Practically speaking, this is how to live out Romans 12: - I will not gossip about people who hurt me.
- I will not try to “get even”.
- I will pray for people who hurt me.
- I will speak kindly about people who hurt me.
- I will not rehearse offenses in my mind.
- I will not poison others against them.
- I will do good if they need help.
Remember, if you try to do these things on your own, it will not work. You will fail. But, when you are abiding in Christ, you have an endless capacity to show love. It will not run out! (Rom 5:8) Questions to Consider: - When someone wrongs you, what is your first instinct—to bless, ignore, gossip, or get even?
- Do you struggle more with being right or being at peace?
- Are you more concerned with winning arguments or preserving relationships?
- Do you trust God to handle injustice, or do you feel the need to take matters into your own hands?
- Who is the hardest person in your life to love right now? What have you actually done to love them?
- Do you only show kindness to people who treat you well?
- Do your words (tone, sarcasm, criticism) create peace or tension at home?
- What specific “evil” are you currently facing—and how are you responding to it?
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