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How Can I Maintain Perspective as a Parent?

Do you ever find yourself thinking: How is this all going to turn out? Will I mess up my kids? Am I even the right person for this job? Your kids did not come with an instruction manual of what to do and when to do it so that they turn out as these incredible human beings. You may be looking at the challenges of the present or the uncertainty of the future and be wondering how exactly you are supposed to do this parenting thing. The good news is that every other parent feels this way at times. I know what you are thinking, I need more than knowing that other parents struggle, I need real hope. I’d like to point you back to a simple but powerful reminder that can build real confidence for us as parents.

You see, your kids may not have come with a manual but we have something better than a manual for this life. We have the Bible. God’s perfect word is full of stories of imperfect parents and challenging life stories that are overshadowed by the greater story of God’s faithfulness as our perfect Heavenly Father. God worked through ordinary people to accomplish extraordinary purposes in His larger story of redemption. We must remember God does the same today and it all begins by recognizing the three stories unfolding before our eyes every day.

1. First there is…Our Child’s Story. Our children are unique. They have unique gifts and their own personality. They pick up many physical traits and even personality quirks from us, but they are not us.  Although we have seen the majority of what they have experienced, we cannot say we have experienced everything through their eyes. Only Jesus knows everything that they think, feel, and experience as they grow up. They are made in God’s image and we can rest assured that God has plans for their lives. What an amazing privilege we have to witness their story being written out. Today’s stories will be tomorrow’s memories that shape who they become.

2. Next, there is… Our Story. We can find inspiration and hope in knowing God is revealing the story of our children, but He is also not finished writing your story. Yes, your story. Even before you had the role of a parent, you were you and before you are a parent you must remember that, when you trusted in Jesus, you became God’s child. There is something beautiful and freeing about owning your whole story and all the moments from heroic to heartbreaking. Your story has a significant influence on your parenting and recognizing those areas of your life that have shaped you will allow you to better understand the ways you lead your own children. Your story matters. Your life is on display before your kids like a movie and they have a front row seat. Stop and ask yourself, “Do my kids know my faith story?” “Do they know how Jesus changed my life or how He is at work in my life today?” Your story matters to your kids’ story.

3.The third part is… His Story. The beautiful architect, creator, and mastermind behind this whole parenting world is the Lord who weaves our stories into His like a seamstress gently guiding the thread with her hand. His Story, one of love and pursuit, brings our story as parents and the stories of our children together. His Story connects them all. This same God gave your children to you and He did so intentionally because of His good purposes for your lives. He could have picked any parent on the planet to oversee the life of your child. God chose you and He doesn’t make mistakes. God is interlacing our stories with our children and His own. 

Understanding the three components at play offers us the perspective we need as we parent our children in a God-made Family. You can better connect these stories today by sharing your testimony of how you came to faith in Christ with your children and how God is at work in your life now. No matter what, rest assured that God is still writing your child’s story and your story by bringing it into HIs own.